Discrepancy in Desire

It is common and normal for partners within a couple to have differences in libido. However, mismatches can affect intimacy, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction which often leads to conflict, disconnection, feelings of being rejected or criticized, and a sense of isolation. In therapy, we will aim to understand the various factors that may be contributing to the discrepancy in desire, work to bridge the gap if appropriate, increase understanding and empathy, honor individual truths and needs, and enhance relationship satisfaction to deepen love and fulfillment in your relationship. In some cases, differing levels of desire have been consistent through a relationship and the couple will seek therapy to determine a path forward that works for each partner, also working toward acceptance. In other cases, discrepancy in desire can develop over time due to a variety of reasons, which may include stress, health issues, resentment, emotional disconnection, or differing expectations about intimacy.

In the therapeutic process, I support my clients to increase patience, understanding, and compassion as we explore the factors involved and work toward a path forward. I engage my clients in talk therapy interventions and provide out of session intimacy work when appropriate. It is my goal to support couples to strengthen their connection, clarify their boundaries and expectations, and work toward creating a more fulfilling sex life if that is what they choose to have.

Who I Serve:

I provide telehealth videoconferencing/phone therapy services to individuals and couples across the state of California. I am committed to providing antiracist and identity affirming care. I am a kink and LGBTQ+ affirming therapist. If you have any further questions about my competence in supporting you around specific aspects of your identity, please don’t hesitate to reach out with your questions.